21days

this past weekend i went to paris again. hung out with bobby flowers and some american girls. and dimi and his friends of course. blah. longhamp again. pretty much exactly the same.
he asked me to tell him what ztune did. so i had to tell him that his exgirlfriend fucked his roommate. really great position to be in. telling your boyfriend about something his ex did when we only have 21 days left. not happy. i dont want to leave. i dont want to say goodbye. i dont want to say goodbye to these people i'll probably never see again. i'm trying to convince him to visit me by telling him all the "cool shit" about oxford: i have a pool, a big bed, liquor store across the street, a car. i dont even know what i feel about him. i think im partly just romanticising the idea of leaving until i freak myself out. but i DO really like him alot. and i care about him. and hes funny and nice. and for some reason doesnt think i'm complicated. and it sucks that hes got this shit on his mind. but i think knowing that i'll forget about this feeling after awhile of being home is the weirdest part. but thats not to say i dont want to take advantage of every minute we can have together. meaning i dont want to leave his side. why do i do this to myself? i sware i could fall in love every minute on the street. speaking of YACHT i made a playlist of music that will remind me of my time here.
1. train under water
2. sweet dreams
3. burn bridges
4. slow down jo
5. never give you up
6. take it in
7. odessa
8. sentimental x's
9. lemonade
10. pumped up kicks
11. rill rill
12. USA BOYS
13. where do you go to (my lovely)
14. all to all
15. i am not a robot
16. she's got you high
17. what would i want? sky
18. technologic (death to the throne remix)
19. dear god (sincerely m.o.f.)


"so my whole life, everything, all i get to keep are thoughts and memories?
thats all we ever had, peanut."

anyway, i'm fucking sad to be leaving. but my life is in america, and it will start again once i return. whatever that means.